kissing elephants

Photos

OK, stop pestering, the Vietnam photos are now up. I managed to cut over 400 down to around 150. It was hard. Thailand should be up later today. Photos have taken over my life.

Good evening Vietnam

And so goodbye to this life-changing country. I have had such fun and met some great people. Sorry to leave but also excited about my next adventure.

You see some crazy things here. On my way to the airport I passed, amongst other things, a couple playing badminton on a busy city street corner and a water buffalo with its baby running down the motorway. Yesterday, it was a motorbike with three large pigs on the back. Two on each side like paniers and one stretch awkwardly on its back across the seat. I thought it was dead until it twitched its back legs like a huge baby fidgeting in its dreams. Apparently its common to see buffalo on the back of scooters too. Maybe next time.

Halong Bay

I had such expectations about this place and they were fulfilled. Even though we only saw a small part of the thousands of islands it was still one of my top ten experiences. As the boat slowly chugged out to sea, the limestone giants appear out of the mist around you, their unruly structures like alien creatures, pale grey to start with and then dark lush green as you get close. We swam in the calm dark green sea off the boat which is no mean feat for me with my fear of drowning.

Our seafood lunch and a few beers as we returned was the perfect end to the holiday. Then got drunk on the bus home and giggled like a schoolgirl all the way - what fun.

The Hanoi Hilton

Finally we reached Hanoi, a little tired and jaded but pleased to see our very plush hotel. Hanoi is the complete opposite to Saigon - organised, tidy, gentile and serious. The people are more reserved and less forthcoming - more British in fact. I prefer Saigon.

In the short time we had here we visited Ho Chi Minh's mausoleum and house on stilts, although we couldn't see him as he'd been sent to Russia on his holidays for re-stuffing. The most exciting bit was the museum about his life. Built in 1990 it is the last example of Russian architecture to be built in Vietnam. The exhibition which was designed by a bunch of Westerners is pretty intriguing - very avant-garde with oodles of symbolism in its construction.

Next stop the first Hanoi Hilton to see what is left of the prison. Lots of dingy rooms and prisoner dummies mainly. They are unashamedly biased in their presentation here with two rooms devoted to how well the US prisoners were treated. You can also sense a different attitude up North towards the war with much less forgiveness - understandably of course.

Vietnam is still two very distinct countries from dialect to disposition. The Rough Guide sums it up quite nicely in its description of the stereotypes - the brash, wheeler dealer Southerner versus the serious, rule driven Northern government worker.

Tam Tam Hue

Hue is the original Vietnamese capital and a truly historic place. While most of it was levelled in the war, its done a good job to rebuild itself as a busy commercial town. The main reason to come here is to see the Citadel which is an early nineteenth century city within a city created by Emperor Gia Long. The place had a real sense of calm in a busy city and was a perfect stop in the balmy afternoon. A large part of it was bombed to bits by the US but there are still numerous Chinese inspired buildings. Its hard to describe all this but the photos will reveal all soon.

Last night I was resolved to have a quiet night and yet was lead astray by the others who forced me to drink lots of Vietnamese beer. Couldn't work out if I was seeing things as I was standing on the bar steps and saw this big rat coming straight for me. Luckily it veered off to the right as it got to my feet. Had a fit of the giggles in the taxi as Cathy tried out her best Spanish Vietnamese into the driver's radio. God knows what 'Tam Tam Hoy' means but she got a reply.

Just had my third massage of the trip. Despite being in a five star hotel, this one was in a room which felt like a hospital examination room with heavy metal playing full blast. There was little method in her massage but I did nearly fall asleep at one moment so it was a nice way to waste an hour. My definite favourite Vietnamese massage was on the boat and typically was the one that cost me the least - less than two pounds in fact - hoorah.

The Road to Hue

Sad to leave Hoi An on Tuesday, the place got better the longer we were there. I love this country and its people. Most are friendly, intelligent and dignified. I never tire of being called beautiful but I wish they weren't trying to sell me something when they say it.

On the way to Hue we went to China Beach where the GIs used to hangout and then to Marble Mountains, a palatial set of temple caves. Then we drove down a staggering mountain pass with more fantastic country. I am running out of superlatives to describe the beauty of this place.

High fashion in Hoi An

Sunday we flew to Danang, a pretty grotty town which was a main base for the US in the war, but not stopping there we went straight down to Hoi An, a gorgeous old place which is an UNESCO heritage listed site. The town is filled with 200 year old houses and shops, some Chinese architecture, some French colonial and a great buzzing market. At night it is particularly mesmerising with the small streets lit up by lanterns. While there we sailed up the Thu Bon River which was an atmospheric experience. I kept hearing the Doors, The End playing in my head.

The big thing in Hoi An is the tailoring. Loads of shops which will make whatever your heart desires - well they can copy stuff very well. Got a silk dress, two linen trousers, and three tops for $100. The night life is laid back and the food great. We had a cookery demonstration with a chef who fancied himself as a personality chef - a cross between Ken Hom and Gordon Ramsay.

Sorry if I'm not particularly eloquent today. I have another hangover - that's the third in three nights - oh dear.

New Rough Guide to Massage entries

I have now had the chance to sample the massage here and have been very impressed so far. The first was in Da Lat at the hotel. The room reminded me slightly of my old dentist's surgery - Mr Lee who looked like a serial killer and who I only ever saw in a mask - very disturbing. But all in all quite relaxing. I became slightly concerned when she suddenly leapt up on the table - I didn't ask for a Thai massage. But she just knelt on me, massaged my back and then got off again without inflicting any injury.

Apparently most men get asked if they want extras here. Had I been male I think I might have turned this one down. She wasn't the prettiest pin in the cushion. The poor girl had a cold so the sniffing was also a bit off-putting. But good strong thumbs so I certainly wasn't complaining.

As I sat in reception afterwards I overheard what was obviously the girl at the desk arranging a nightly liaison with a gentleman. I was quite shocked at how open she was about it - this being the Novotel too - I always thought they were such a reputable firm.....

My next massage was much more exotic and was on the boat out to sea while the others swam off the side. It felt really nice with the boat rocking and the spray showering me occasionally. Something I think you all should try.

Cruising to Mieu Island

Not the best follow-up to a night mixing your drinks and jumping up and down, but the next day we went out to sea in a boat. We visited a small fishing village by stumbling into some small round boats and being rowed into shore by a little old lady who was very proud of her rowing prowess. How she stops it from going round in circles I'll never know. It was great to wander around the little village and meet the very friendly children who came to greet us. Unicef have only just put rain water tanks into each house so they can have easier access to fresh water.

Nightclubbing in Nha Trang

Back online after the Internet disappearing for a few days. So on with the story....

On Friday we drove from Da Lat across a beautiful mountain path and down to the coast. The agricultural landscape was a reminder of Sri Lanka but the way the mountains drop away to the beach is like nothing I've ever seen before. The most amazing thing about this place is the light. The grey haze casts an eerie presence across the land particularly in the afternoon.

Nha Trang is what they're calling the Phuket of Vietnam. Your typical dirty, seedy seaside town with a sweeping long beach where the boys play football and jump about in the sea. What really makes the place is the night life. We started the evening with a cyclo trip to a seafood BBQ where you cook your own food at the table. I've now switched tuk tuk racing for cyclo racing but with less success - I came from behind to finish second en route to the Sailing Club, the local backpackers haunt. Cathy, David and I hit the cocktails and decided to sample a variety on the menu. Got exceedingly drunk and danced like I haven't danced in years. The music after a dodgy start was excellent - from the Killers, White Stripes and other such rock and roll to Bon Jovi and the Proclaimers - what more can I say.

David and I invented a new game called Spot the Sex Tourist - which wasn't hard - also had a bet over the number of propositions I could get from German tourists (I widened it to Central Europe) and he could get from Vietnamese prostitutes. I thought a tad unfair but I'm up for a challenge. We both did appallingly - the best I could do was get subjected to an unwanted shoulder rub from a drunk Brit and David got half a dance from a 'bad noodle' (as described by Nhia, our Vietnamese tour guide).

All in all, such good fun....and the look on mum's face when I staggered in was priceless! I felt 16 again.