kissing elephants

Starry skies and sunsets

And now the end is near, my South East Asia experience is over. I'm back in clean and tidy Sydney, applying for a job, desperately trying to reduce the number of photos I've brought back with me, watching my tan rapidly fading (why do we bother?) and missing my grubby, sunny, lazy life.

I particularly miss the community of outdoor life. In both Vietnam, Thailand and Sri Lanka, much of people's working, social and home life is combined in one place. People sit outside their businesses which are also their homes with groups of friends only stopping the chat to serve customers. There are no closed doors here. The streets are always full of people. Contrast that with the way we live where everyone disappears into their burglar alarmed homes, draws their curtains to stop people looking in, close their windows to shut out the noise, to watch their cars on their newly installed CCTV system. Maybe that's a little extreme but you get the picture.

So what didn't I tell you about Thailand? Perhaps, about the number of mosquito bites I got and the number of hours I spent whinging about my itches. What about how many penis shaped pieces of coral I found on the beach. Or the fact that I very nearly fell down a flight of concrete steps taking my travelling pal with me. About our grumpy waiting staff at the Phi Phi resort who didn't get our humour. Or that I finally saw some cool fishes while snorkelling off the beach.

Maybe about the best sunset I have ever seen in my entire life that no photo can do justice to. A yellowy orange glow one evening beckoned me out of our dark bungalow as if something was on fire. We wandered out in a daze down to the beach along with most other guests who were drawn there by the eerie feel this glow was generating. The sea was on fire. An orange lava bed against black, black mountains peppered by a strange purple mist hovering over the floating fire. It was astonishing. Everyone stood and watched in quiet fascination as if aliens were invading, nuclear war had been declared or the sky was falling in. A very moving moment.

Then night fall and a beautiful starry sky complete with shooting stars and satellites a la Tamsin Archer as we made our way home in a longtail boat. Gosh.

Monkey Magic

As well as fearing deep water, I am simultaneously fascinated by it. It turns out that Greg has the same relationship with everything monkey. This goes back to a moment in India when three of the blighters brutally ransacked his table while he sat drinking coffee. Having started the process of rehabilitation at the crocodile farm, he had a more intense bout of therapy at our Phi Phi resort.

One morning, a family of around six or seven monkeys came down from the jungle to receive scraps of food from the hotel staff. As normal, the alpha male came to check it out followed by younger and older members of the clan. Greg and I left our breakfast to go and get a better look. As we wandered towards them, Greg obviously got a bit too close to comfort for some of them and one suddenly rushed at him hissing and screeching. This was followed by two others equally hostile. Just when we thought they had calmed down, the big alpha male came running from nowhere and went for him from behind. Now I know monkeys are cute small things, but these were four vicious bastards and he was lucky they were probably more scared than we were. The face-off came to nothing and both sides backed off to lick their psychological wounds. But lets just say, the dreams have started again.....

Big Fish Little Fish

Because the water is so clear and the reef so full of life here, I have been trying to conquer my irrational fear of being underwater and out of my depth. This all stems from a bad experience on my first school swimming trip at the age of eleven when I hadn't learnt to swim but was too embarrassed to tell anyone. The teacher lined us up and told everyone to jump in and show them what we could do - one by one. When it came to my turn, I showed her what I could do. I jumped in and didn't come up again. Luckily a friend dragged me up coughing and spluttering. The most humilating thing about this frightening moment was that we were in the shallow end. No-one told me I had to straighten my legs on landing.

So anyway, Greg 'The Fish' Shannon is patiently teaching me snorkelling but I am not the best pupil and am too fearful to do it any distance from the shore. He, on the other hand has been learning to scuba dive and while I sunbathed on the boat, went swimming with turtles and a leopard shark. The whole set-up was all slightly disconcerting though. If you do a discovery dive, they take you out, give you a five minute briefing, show you how to put on the kit and then push you off the side. I can't imagine anything more petrifying but of course, Greg loved it, is now on his second trip and is hatching plans to become a Dive Master. I preferred lying on my back gazing up at the limestone mountains that surrounded me in the bay and wondering what it would be like to be one of the eagles above me. I guess that puts play to my plans to be a marine biologist. I'm sticking to high speed sailing, riding and driving - much safer I'm sure. Although I did go sea kayaking yesterday.

Paradise in Phi Phi

After a quick stop in old Phuket town, we got the boat to Phi Phi. I'd heard mixed things about this place. Some that it was great, some that it was over developed, some that it had suffered badly from the tsunami. So I think I was expecting a repeat of Samui but I was wrong.

From the moment you see Phi Phi, you realise how spectacular it is. They filmed The Beach here and you can see why. The dramatic limestone cliffs, the long white beaches and the clear blue waters make it as close to paradise as I've seen. Although the main town was almost obliterated by the big wave, they have rebuilt most of it in a year and the development continues. I can imagine it could be a bit of a nightmare in high season and in years to come but its fairly laid back at the moment in comparison to the Gulf Coast. On our tour guide in Vietnam, Eloise's recommendation we got a taxi boat straight to Long Beach to the Pearl Paradise resort and have been here ever since. Its gorgeous. We spend our days swimming, lounging, reading and eating with a little bit of adventure every now and then.

A luxury massage

Before our flight to Phuket, we decided to spend the morning in one of the luxury spas on Samui, the Mandara Spa. After a mini heart failure at the price we trotted off to our haven of pampering - a beautiful wooden hut with an outside bathroom complete with sunken bath and rose petals.

The session started with the ubiquitous giggling fit at the disposable pants they make you wear. I'd heard Simon's story of their Thai massage experience so was sort of expecting it but it doesn't stop the hilarity when you put them on. Has no-one explained to them yet that one size does not fit all and that nylon gussets are not the most healthy experience? I was particularly disturbed when I discovered a pair from the previous guest on the side and even more so when I saw how attached Greg was to his.

But I have to say that the rest of the experience was heavenly. Compared to the beach/high street places, the staff are very discreet and don't make it at all embarrassing. I was a queen for two hours but as with all the massages I've had, it doesn't matter how long it lasts, its never enough.

Crocodile Rock

It hadn't occurred to me that my deserted beach story would sound so dramatic but I suppose it was a cross between Lost and Deliverance. In fact, Loretta, one of our rescuers asked us if we'd seen Deliverance as we were charging up mountains.

Anyway, it gets better. In our last full day on Samui I did a bit of off-road driving and crocodile stroking (two more firsts). We drove to see what the local horse riding place looked like and after getting all weepy about the skinny, fly-munched excuses for horses we decided to take the jeep up the track instead. Reluctantly I took the wheel at the top of a particularly steep bit but found to my surprise that its really easy. Much easier than being a passenger in fact. Its great fun and I want to do more.

Bypassing the Monkey Theater, we then trekked off to visit the local crocodile farm. As Siamese crocodiles are virtually extinct in the wild, the only place you can see them is on farms. This one was what you might call an example of intensive crocodile farming. There were concrete troughs full of hundreds of these things squirming all over each other - most pretty chubby and smelly. The most bizarre thing was the 'show' which took place twice a day. A Thai Steve Irwin in a yellow and red satin running suit introduced us to his trained crocs and then proceeded to put his arms and head between their jaws with a cheesy smile bigger than the crocodiles. We got to stroke the big one who didn't seem too concerned about being held tightly by its tail being groped by tourists.

The rest of the farm was filled with sad creatures in even sadder cages. Greg started the process of conquering his primate fear by feeding some insistent monkeys who would have been happier with your camera or glasses than food and were choosy about whether you gave them sweetcorn over bananas.

Bophut selecta

Back on Samui but this time to a fisherman's village, Bophut on the north coast which is lovely and so different to the horror that is Chaweng. We are staying in a little place called the Red House which we found by accident along the main street. Designed by a german architect it is a chinese shoe shop, cafe and a hotel with four rooms each called things like Happiness, Fortuna and our room, Longlife. The staff are great and we're very happy here.

However, its the monsoon season here so we leave tomorrow to find some sun on the Andaman coast or Tsunami coast as its lovingly now called - Phi Phi here we come.

The case of the disappearing...

They're a bunch of thieves here.....but in the most inept way. While in Samui, I had my purse stolen from my room with cash and credit cards in it. But funnily enough, when I complained to the management, I 'found' it again a day later - blatantly left on the sofa and not where it was originally.

Then in Had Rin, Greg had one shoe and a pair of shorts taken off our verandah. Why one shoe? For a one-legged relative perhaps or to copy to sell in Bangkok? But lo and behold, just before we were about to leave, they re-appeared with a kind present of factor 30 sunscreen inside. I just don't get it....

Had Rin hang-out

Been enjoying a couple of days relaxing in Had Rin. The sun is shining so spent a day enjoying the beach and since getting the jeep bug have been doing a bit of exploring. On Sunday we drove the circumference of the island and found a quiet resort in the north called Chakolum. They like the Eagles here too. In fact, they like all music on this island as long as it's played very VERY loudly. You start to get used to it after a while. I can no longer sleep without hard techno sounding in my head.

As we sat in a cafe watching the sun go down, a truck pulled up with a young elephant in the back. His keeper took him down to the sea for a bathe then up to our place for a shower. He was very polite for a two year old and shook our hands nicely. Then he was tormented by the local kids with bananas for an hour before getting back in the truck and heading off to be tied up for the delight of tourists.

But before that excitement, we'd just picked up the jeep and were mid-conversation about how you wouldn't dream of riding a scooter on such bad roads when we came across a bunch of teenagers on their bikes. One had come a cropper so we gathered him into the jeep all shocked and sweaty and took him to hospital. He was fine just a big hole in his leg so we left him half naked with the nurses and went on our merry way. But if that wasn't enough on the drive back in the dark making our way up some ridiculously steep hills, the car's gears bust and we got stuck half way up a dark winding curve. Luckily we screech it in first into an empty restaurant where they didn't speak much English and flagged down a cab back to town. What a day!

So despite our mishaps which add to the adventure, I like Ko Pha Ngan. There's not a lot to do but its fairly laid back and not full of middle aged single men like Samui. Sorry to leave but think we've done this town.

How did we get here?

Took a boat to Ko Pha Ngan and bypassed the main resort to find somewhere more secluded - and did we ever. After some unsuccessful bartering with the longtail boat men we got one up the coast to a beach called Sadet which was meant to be popular with nature lovers and artists. Well it would be if you like paintings of dogs.

We were dumped on the beach to be greeted by three luckily friendly local dogs - but no humans. Everywhere looked deserted. As we considered sleeping on the beach we noticed a man up in the hill that surrounded the cove. That looked our best shot so we started the climb, backpacks and all. After a few hairy moments where I thought I might tumble back down we reached the only place open and found a room.

Once evening came, a few more people appeared. Some had been there for weeks searching for solitude while others had encountered the same experience as us. It soon became apparent that while getting to the place had been tricky, leaving it was another matter. At that moment Hotel California came on the stereo.

'Oh no, you can't get a boat today', the owner said. 'The sea is too rough'. Looking out at the calm blue waters a slight wave of panic came over me. While I wanted some peace, this was a little too remote and I was getting eaten alive by jungle mozzies (I have elephantitis of the feet and bottom again). But fortune smiled on us as Greg asked a group of Irish backpackers how they were getting away. They had hired a jeep and could give us a lift out of there.

Then the adventure really started. We jumped in the back of the jeep amongst all the bags hoping for a scenic drive over the mountain, trying to ignore the owner's shaking head as we told her our plans. Only the roads here aren't roads but clay ravines up steep drops made worse by the recent torrents of rain. Luckily, Loretta and Nicky, our drivers were old hands and we only got stuck once but the ride was hairy. The only way to cope was to stand or crouch clinging on as tight as you could.

But the scenery was amazing and we saw so much more of the island this way. We made it down to Had Rin a little bruised and very excited. Having had my fill of seclusion for now, we've found a bungalow with floor to ceiling windows right on the beach which we thought was paradise until we found that the thump thump of the beach clubs went on until six am. But you can't have it both ways can you?